Directed by Thom Maurer & Barrett Klausman
Written by Thom Maurer & Barrett J Leigh
Based on a story by H.P. Lovecraft
Starring William Sanderson, Fountain Yount, Kurt Hargan, Rachel Mellondorf, Rick Dial, Marco St. John, & Tom Savini
First of all, I was raised to believe H.P. Lovecraft’s stories were scary. Some of the elements could have been disturbing if the main actors weren’t made of wood, with all the affectation and believability of the maple tree down the street from my house.
When certain revelations were, uh, revealed, instead of making me say, “Wow! What will happen next?” I mostly looked at the clock and said, “Wow! Can’t they wrap this crap up already?”
The whole back and white film noir thing interspersed with time lapsed, MTV-style Nine Inch Nails videos for “horror effect” really fell flat. I kept thinking I was watching Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein, except without the cast, humor, and acting talent. And Mel Brooks’ special effects were mostly better besides.
Coolness: There is a big creature from another dimension surrounded by severed heads. I guess that’s sorta cool.
Dorkness: The entire story hinges on the stereotypes of inbred Appalachian backwoods families being more sinister than they really are. Trust me. I know a thing or two about this.
Bottom line: Take two ambien and call me in the morning.